Your GUT is always right….now put down the nachos

Image result for stomach pains funny

I had to take my 11 year old to the doctor because of her stomach pains that have been consistent for a few weeks.

Although I was relieved when it turned out not to be anything serious, I was still slightly devastated that the reasons for her agony stemmed from (as she cringes while typing it:)…her poor diet.

How could it be that Ms. Balsamfitsecret who preaches  the merits of eating healthy could have a child with such poor eating habits?

Now I know what you’re all thinking – you probably think that I’m this health Nazi who won’t let her kids eat junk. On the contrary!! – actually that’s the problem- I did not want them to grow up feeling deprived and then rebel once they are old enough to buy their own food and become obese adults .

You see, I grew up in a house of junk. Literally and figuratively- junk was out at all times of the day.

My house was the house everyone wanted to come to because we had no curfew and junk food was available and sitting out all day and all night (that’s because everyone was too lazy to put anything away and my mom-love you dearly if your reading this – is a pack rat and let’s just say the opposite of a germaphobe.

She would bring home stray dogs she’d find in the parking lot of the local grocery store despite the fact that my father was not an animal lover and asked her not to. It was always the same story; We would keep the dog for a few weeks until it tore apart everything since no one bothered to train it or walk it and then one day I’d come home from school and it was gone with no explanation other than “ he had to go”. I didn’t ask then – and I won’t ask now – where they went but I suspect that farm story that they told me was slightly fabricated.

In my house growing up with 3 brothers and 3 male cousins who were always around playing ball, wrestling and giving each other wedgies and titty twisters, the last thing anyone cared about was healthy eating.

Image result for boys wrestling funny

So I suppose you can say that I rebelled from the filth by becoming a clean freak myself and learning how to eat healthy was something that started out as an obsession in my late teens and evolved into a passion throughout my entire adult life. I have studied nutrition for over twenty years and became certified in all things fitness. Even though I do not work at a gym, as a financial advisor I do consult and preach the virtues of healthy habits to my clients.

SO there I stood at the doctors office being lectured about how terrible processed foods are for the digestive system. (ummmmm- duh?)

Image result for doctors advice food funny.

After a few minutes of letting HIM lecture ME- I decided to join him on his soapbox and no longer justify “they’re just kids” excuse for eating processed foods that I know are terrible for them – or for anyone for that matter. The irony is that I would never eat the things I allow my kids to eat. I eat whole natural foods, healthy fats, proteins, fruits and vegetables  and rarely anything processed…..and for the most part so do they- at least at HOME while I’m serving it to them. I have cut up fruits and vegetables always at the ready to grab and go. I have chicken and fish prepared every night for dinner.

So why the mea culpa what they decide to eat in school or swim practice or friends houses??

Because junk food is called that for a reason. If you put junk into your body your stomach will let you know it’s not ok with that. Trust your gut- LITERALLY!!

Don’t get me wrong; of course I will still let them have dessert at restaurants and ice cream at the beach. Yes, they are just kids and everyone no matter what age should enjoy some indulgence here and there. I am already pretty good about not buying processed foods but will pack them even more healthful choices so they are not tempted to trade their cut up mango for Doritos.

Lesson Learned :

Even when you know you’re right about healthy living yet don’t do what your gut is telling you to, you can end up doing more damage than you ever considered. Rule of thumb is to always stick to your gut and it will lead to a healthy one!

Back by popular demand next week some more healthy eating tips, recipes and of course- the preaching of the benefits of WINE!

have a great weekend! go enjoy happy hour!

Be yourself- case dismissed…..

I am a creature of habit. I get up at the same time everyday, (even when I don’t have work – I still have to pee) eat the same foods (even on weekends, as most of you know, is when all bets are off- even my cheat foods are the same), I use the same machine at the gym to warm up, (hate cardio so try and limit it to reading morning emails), and go about my work day pretty much on schedule until bedtime which, although does vary, typically entails my kids tucking ME in rather than the other way around. I hate to travel far, let alone leave Palm Beach and even though I do go to Miami at least twice a week it’s mostly work related (which I enjoy so much that I sometimes have to remind myself how lucky I am that my social life and work life are often one in the same….as long as I don’t have to dance)

Whenever I do have to travel more than 30 miles away, my husband reminds me that it’s a good thing and healthy for me to stop acting like I’m in the witness protection program.

Yes, I am a homebody.

So just when I thought I was safe and secure hidden behind my country club gates something happened that stirred up my routine.

I was summonsed for jury duty.

After about 20 minutes of trying to find a spot that was not in an undercover parking garage (I’ve seen enough movies to know what could happen to women walking alone in an undercover garage that I’d rather walk the mile and a half in heels as long as parking is outside and street level.) I finally arrived at the courthouse.

At first I thought I was walking into the wrong entrance – maybe I had accidentally entered the convicted felons area? – Seemed like the people walking in should be hanging out at the local gun range or tattoo parlor. (Parlor? is that word even used anymore? and before any of my friends with tats  get all worked up – you know I don’t mean offense to yours- I’m talking about the ones on peoples FACES).

After waiting in a single line to pass through security, which was similar to the airport but luckily, since I did not have time for a pedicure, we got to keep our shoes on, we were sent to a room where they spent the first hour giving speeches and showing videos of what the process entails and how this country is built on being fair. That part made me chuckle just a little- especially when they showed the videos that attempted to pull on our heartstrings by showing people of all races hugging their kids and saluting the flag.

Reminded me of the super bowl commercial from Nationwide – really??

What I found to be indicative of the dumbing down of America was that only a handful of us left to use our laptops and catch up on work in the juror’s lounge and the overwhelming majority of people chose to stay and watch movies all day long.

At first the only seat available was next to an obese man drinking soda and belching after each sip. I chose to get up and move to another room after he took out a  nail clipper from his pocket and began  clipping his fingernails  and placing each one into his empty soda can.

I sat there- even more motivated to think of reasons that I could possibly use to excuse myself from sitting on a jury….(of my piers- really??)

Childcare?

Self-employment?

All good- but used so many times before that I doubted they would work.

Then the woman next to me got up to use the restroom and asked me to watch her computer while she was gone. I accepted her request and when she returned she thanked me and went right back to work. About 10 minutes later it was my turn to use the restroom and when I packed up and took my laptop with me she looked at me as though she could not believe the audacity I had that I did not trust her with my belongings as she so willingly had done with hers.

I just gave her a look that said, “Lady, its not that I don’t trust YOU….it’s that I don’t trust ANYONE.”

And just like that I found my excuse.

Dismissed!

Lesson Learned:

When in doubt just be yourself.

All you have to do is ask……

I recently had to travel for business and stay in a hotel for 3 nights. Although it was a very upscale resort style place, the germ freak in me never truly enjoys sleeping anywhere but my own bed, let alone showering where several thousand other feet have showered before me (and lets be honest, who doesn’t pee in the shower?)

Whenever I step foot into a hotel room the first thing I do is take out my pocket sanitizing wipes and scrub the place down. First I start with the remote (because we all know hotel porn is like pizza- even when it’s bad it’s good)

By the time I’m done scouring the place to make it suitable enough for me to relax I then head downstairs to explore the facilities. I check out the gym (which I only managed to use the first morning before my meetings and immediately realized I should have gotten a tetanus shot to protect myself from the rusty equipment) and of course it goes without saying that the next place I explore is the lobby bar.

Now let me take it back a few steps for you. The reason I traveled in the fist place is that I needed – no, wanted- to attend a financial services seminar. When I called very last minute to register I was told it was sold out and wait list only.

So I picked up the phone and called the company sponsoring the event and asked for the marketing person in charge and -whala – I managed to secure a spot for the coveted event…. circumventing the wait list.

Then I called the hotel where the conference was taking place to book my room and again was told it was sold out. I hung up and called right back and asked to speak to the manager, explained the situation, asked if I could get squeezed into one of their reserve rooms and – whala – I got “the last room”.

I then did not have WIFI working in my room the first night and when I called down to ask for tech support I was put on hold for enough time to finish a glass of wine. Once my glass was empty I hung up (to refill).

Then I called the front desk, asked to speak to the manager and – whala – not only did I get WIFI working immediately- but they sent up a bottle of wine and snack tray -compliments of the hotel “for my trouble”.

The last day I decided to head back home early so I called the front desk after my last meeting which ended at 5 pm and asked if there were any way the could reduce the room price because although I stayed half the day I would not be staying overnight. The woman put me on hold to ask her manager (at which point I imagined the classic Seinfeld move where Jerry describes to Elaine the conversation between the rental car agent and her manager when they really are discussing absolutely nothing and pretending to care about his concerns) because I ended up with a “Sorry we can’t help you. You’ll be charged the full price”.

At which point I hung up and called right back and asked to speak to the manager and once again asked if they could work out a price for me because I would not be staying the night although I fully understood that I was well past the late checkout time and –  Wahla- I got the entire day/night taken off my bill.

Lesson Learned:

All you need to do is ask and – wahla

Magic happens. Sometimes it’s not just about HOW you ask but also WHOM you ask and most often than not, it’s the combination of both.

And now for your viewing pleasure click the link:

Mind control is a beautiful thing….

If you turned Drynuary into Wineuary then Ill take it!…..

Someone posted an article on FB the other day about how they’re progressing on their “Drynuary ” experience thus far –  have you heard of this? It’s somewhat of a combination of a New Years resolution combined with the month of Lent – but instead of giving up meat you have to give up – hush – dare I say it: ….. Alcohol.

I suppose it’s somewhat of an effort to redeem what’s left of your liver after all the excess drinking over the holidays.

I read the entire article (while sipping my second glass of wine) and thought to myself- hmmm….let’s just add this to my list of things I will NEVER, EVER, EVER do. Right up there with juicing and fasting.

Coincidentally, the universe was aligned because literally the other day I had my first green smoothie – Ever.

I know what you’re thinking- liar, liar, pants on fire! –

How can Ms. Healthy Balsamfitsecret really never have had a green smoothie before?

As always, I only speak the truth – when I tell you that it never appealed to me to drink my calories – I am an eater and always will be – I grew up in a house with food that was out at all times of the day and night- (I still say it’s truly a miracle that I didn’t weigh 800 pounds as a child. I’m pretty sure that if you go to my childhood home- although long sold and out of my parents estate- you can probably still find a pizza and a donut hidden in the corner behind a plant) but it did provoke me to learn and implement healthy eating habits the minute I got out of Dodge.

I just simply crave food….the chewing and the preparing- it’s somewhat of a ritual for me to make my healthy salads and add my crunchy nuts , salmon, avocado, greens – my super foods – I just love to eat whole, natural foods- A LOT of them- I never count calories or measure and I don’t believe in chemical protein powders or anything processed.

But out of sheer curiosity, the other day I decided to blend kale, spinach, apple, fresh ginger, celery and lemon – granted I don’t own a magic bullet (although I am tempted to buy one because they probably make delicious Bloody Mary’s ) so I had to settle for my 4 year old blender- which may have had an effect on the quality of the pureeing but nevertheless, the taste was the same… AWFUL.

It was like drinking a salad…..Only without the zingy dressing, crunchy nuts or zesty lemony omega three loaded protein.

Now, I’m no rookie to smoothies. I think I posted about them when I first started blogging some 7 or 8 years ago….. I‘ve been blending nonfat plain Greek yogurt, blueberries, cinnamon and stevia for years.

I adore the almond milk fruit combos – only they are just snacks to hold me over until the next meal.

But the concept of juicing – of drinking your meals- never really resonated with me.

So I had to stop and think for a moment about this whole belief of abstaining from something you love.

With juicing you abstain from food.

With a new years resolution such as “drynuary”: you abstain from drinking the fruits of heaven on Earth.

Lesson Learned:

Unless you’re planning to become a monk, abstaining from something natural – such as wine – makes as much sense as abstaining from sex…..NONE.

Back to Basics Jane!…..

Yesterday, sometime late in the afternoon, I was flipping through some channels on the stair master at the gym, (I know what you’re thinking- who uses a stair master anymore? – while I’d agree with your sentiment entirely, I have to say – just like all things 80’s- you should really try it again – it offers the same effect as doing a long, slow, yet much easier-  exaggerated squat- plus you sweat like a horse while catching up on your TV shows)  so I was trying to find something to entertain myself through the 20 minutes of inevitable  boredom and I fell upon a rerun of “Ellen”- so excited to have found a show that is clean and fun and guarantees to make me laugh out loud (while simultaneously, without falling off, quickly look behind  me to make sure no one can see that I’m laughing at a daytime TV talk show ….but let’s be honest- we all know her competition isn’t exactly fierce.)

So Ellen was in the middle of an interview with Jane Fonda – top of my list of all time favorite inspirational people! Still slim and fit and aging gracefully, yup, Jane looked fantastic! I felt a sense of nostalgia come over me, having spent the latter half of my teenage years with Jane’s workout videos that never left the top of my pop up vcr.

I would come home from school and pop in the bulky video cassette the size of a hard covered book (this was the age before the popularity of owning your own yoga mat, so I would quite literally feel the “burn” – albeit carpet burn- from her nonstop donkey kicks on my hands and knees.) Jane was definitely ahead of her time before the fitness world became what it is today: a monstrous billion dollar industry filled with juicing, chemically enhanced supplements, unusable machinery and over priced wheat grass.

Yup, Jane was a revolutionary before it was acceptable for women to have muscles. Without knowing so, she was one of the pioneers of the fitness industry back in a time when women were supposed to eat cottage cheese and dry melba toast to stay slim and only men were supposed to work out. If a woman was athletic she was considered “bulky” (or a lesbian….not that  there’s anything wrong with it).

I can not tell you how many times I still overhear women at the gym tell their trainers they don’t want to get bulky legs. (if you’re one of them and still think that lifting anything heavier than a pink dumbbell will make you appear  “big”, rest assured, it takes A HECK of a lot more work to intentionally gain the kind of muscle that appears “bulky”  – believe me I am still and will always be trying to attain that kind of muscle mass.) Of course the first question Ellen asked her was whether she is still an avid exerciser. I have to admit, I was somewhat surprised when she replied very  matter of factly that she was not.  She continued to say that she does still exercise daily but she has softened her routine drastically to very low impact but she still incorporates the basics that we all know and love about her videos. Now, let me just say that I’m not new to slim and fit at a “mature” age, I live in the land of beautiful bodies, (granted, for the most part they are both plastic and nipped but beautiful nevertheless.)

 

It’s certainly not unusual to see an older woman in great shape exercising in the gym, in fact it’s pretty standard where I live. But what resonated with me the most was her response that she has toned down her routine drastically over the years yet still sticks to the basics.

Much later that evening I was flipping through some stations trying to find something to distract me into falling  asleep ( I know what you’re thinking- I watch a lot of tv – which is quite ironic considering I can not name one popular tv show or Grammy / Emmy winning actor)  and happened upon the show:  “Two and a Half Men” – no, not the original version with Charlie Sheen when it was actually funny – but the the newer episodes with Ashton Butcher- so overrated for no apparent reason other than he used to be married to Demi and wore a red string around his wrist. This show has jumped, twirled, flip flopped and rolled over the shark so many times it’s struggling to find its way through to end the season for good. So I noticed that they now included a new cast member – a 6 year old chubby kid to live in the house with the two grown men- hmmm- seems so familiar? -Somewhat like the original idea that made it such a hit several years ago – two and a HALF men which included a 6 year old chubby kid…..ah ha!- just like all failing sitcoms who revert back to a ‘Three’s Company’ misunderstanding to save  the plot – yep,   they went back to basics!

Lesson Learned:………. Back to basics!

Just like Jane Fonda and her original  leg lifts and sit ups that were a guarantee to tone the tushy and the tummy – so too is it a guarantee that when it aint broke don’t fix it. When you stick to the original formula you can’t really go wrong. When all else fails just add a new chubby kid to the storyline.

The Comeback…..

As some of you know, I was the only girl growing up with 3 brothers and 3 male cousins who practically lived in my house. My childhood was one big blur of  punches, farts and wedgies.

I was raised in a Jewish modern orthodox household, which meant that we had a lot of rules that went well beyond no pork. We were taught in school to stay far away from the opposite sex.  Even our classes were separate and the girls had to wear skirts that covered their knees ( because everyone knows what could happen if a naked knee is exposed – it might lead to dancing). Everybody say footloose!

Ironically I did not gravitate to the girls. I just didn’t have as much in common with them. I suppose I always preferred hanging out with boys – (mostly the gay ones after college and now all through my adult hood.) But my younger years were spent as  a tom boy – climbing trees and playing sports. I never combed my hair or cared about clothes – I just wanted to play- drama free.

So it goes without saying that once I got to high school I had no idea how to interact with boys beyond a friendship level. I would hang as one of the guys or go out in a big group.

The idea of a first kiss became more and more of an obsession. I put so much focus and pressure on who it would be with, what it would be like, and where it would take place, that I never  got around to actually doing it.

I would obsess over every aspect of it that it became a fantasy that was  inevitably impossible to fulfill.

Flash forward to now and I can’t even remember my first kiss.

(Which may be a function of how old I’m getting that I can barely remember where I left my reading glasses) but nevertheless, I don’t recall that “First” kiss experience at all.

So here I am in a similar situation – where I have spent the past several months trying to decide what to write about once I made my decision to write my blog again. I took so much time off from writing that I began to put so much pressure on myself to write a fantastic blog for the first of the new year. The debut into the new year had to be magical and exciting- or else it would be a let down to all and most importantly, to myself.

But just like my first kiss, or at least the idea of it in high school, when I put so much pressure on myself to make it just right that I probably missed out on so many natural moments, now, although I am in my forties, I am doing the same thing – self inflicted pressure to make my comeback sensational!

I went so many weeks, which turned into months, of not writing a blog that the thought of blogging became an unnecessary pressure – a self inflicted chore to do what I truly love:

Make fun of people.

In writing.

On the internet.

For the world to see.

So I made the decision to use the strongest time of the year – the beginning of the new year- the new start- the new resolution-  to make my COMEBACK.

I justified that it doesn’t have to be the best blog I’ve ever written and perhaps it could be my worst, but the next blog may be better or it may not be, but consistency will even it out.

Lesson Learned:

When we put so much pressure on ourselves to make things perfect we end up missing out on so much of the good stuff that naturally comes in between.

Sometimes it’s OK to just go for it and not hold out for the best time, the best place, or the best opportunity. Sometimes the right time is now.

And just like that, she’s back!

Just don’t EE in the OOL….

 

So we took the kids to Rapids Water Park on Sunday.

I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure that’s where Obama decided to send the kids to resolve the border control crisis.

 

The minute we walked into the park I immediately regretted not splurging for the $89 pair of aqua sox.

Now some of you loyal Blog readers are aware of my GERM freak issues (and by ISSUES I mean you couldn’t PAY ME ENOUGH to go on a luxury cruise- for fear of contacting  Hepatitis A – regardless if Julie Mccoy offered to seat me at the captains table for dinner )

 

So when I realized what I had stepped into I immediately broke out in hives.

My very supportive husband who knows me better than anyone in the world understood completely what was going on in my head as I ascended the steps to our first water slide and I pointed out the rust on the bolts that were “supposedly” holding the entire park together. His words of wisdom and comfort were clear and succinct:

“Suck it up”

And just like that!- I decided I had to look past the mold and fungi on the steps in front of my bare feet and ignore the nose picker in front of me who wiped it off on the hand rail my children were leaning on and focused on getting up those hundred’s of steps to the entry to what looked simply like a giant MRI tube in the sky. (Hey, at least I was getting in a good leg work out since I had skipped the gym that morning ).

I just kept my focus on the people in front of me and tried not to worry about just what was holding this slide together given the size of the clientelle who use it daily.

 

After what seemed like hours but most likely was only a germ filled 15 minutes, we had finally arrived at the top of the slide – our turn!

The kids were so excited, the husband not so much, and as for me ,well – I just asked the nice 17 year old boy with acne and yet somehow put in control of the positioning of the raft (and our lives) if he  could please make sure I am not the one who goes backwards because this was my first time at the park.

I was very appreciative when he responded that I shouldn’t worry he would “take care “ of me and I hesitantly, yet bravely, climbed into the flimsy blow up raft.

From that moment on, all I could remember was hearing him laughing his ass off as our raft very quickly picked up lightening speed as we slid down the slide and suddenly turned backwards and upside down – ME HEAD FIRST- and then hyperventilating as we darted through the pitch black tubes flipping over several times and losing consciousness along the way.

After what I can only describe as the closest I have come to hell, we had finally made it to the bottom and as I barely fell off the raft and looked around for my lost sun visor I almost did not hear my kids yelling that my bikini bottoms had fallen down and my woohoo was showing.

The least of my problems.

Then we decided to take a quick break and relax in the lazy river.

After three minutes I realized I had made a cardinal mistake by assuming this was the safest of the rides when I  heard the woman behind me order her son to get off his raft to pee in the pool so they could go eat lunch.

 

We decided to end our day at the WAVE pool and I laid our towels down momentarily while we jumped through chaos and commotion – (admittedly the best part of my day) and when I went over to gather our towels to leave I was confronted by a man with face tattoos and nipple rings wiping his  armpits and his crotch on our towels.

Time to go! I declared and out came the purel as we drove off to hose down with BLEACH.

 

Lesson Learned:

Sometimes it’s HEALTHY to get out of your comfort zone – if, for no other reason, but to prove that you’re still able to enjoy acting like a kid.

just remember to bring antibiotics

It’s OK to make eye contact (just keep the comments to yourself)…..

It always amazes me how different people are in Florida than they are in the east coast-  but by far my favorite difference to observe is when I go to Publix.
Without fail during the checkout process someone in line behind or in front of me feels the need to comment about my food choices.
This would never happen in NYC.
At Fairway, the aisles are so narrow that you have to maneuver through them the same way you would if as if you were on the subway – you keep your head down and avoid eye contact.


god forbid you need help looking for an item in Food Emporium and actually have to find – let alone ask - a store clerk for something.
Most often they don’t bother looking they just reply with the same practiced (ie; lazy) response of: “we’re out of it”. Sure you are. Sure you are.
Too much of an inconvenience to actually have to lift their finger and POINT to the correct aisle where said item is located (and indeed in stock).


But at Publix not only will the store clerk tell you where your requested item is located but they will ESCORT you to the exact location and place it in your cart FOR you (albeit they are typically old enough to be your great grandpa so it takes about 20 minutes just to get to the aisle and another 20 to find the shelf – but never the less they make the effort- and simultaneously you make their day!!)
So I had to smile during check out yesterday when the conversation went like this:
Bagger: “ I just have to ask – what are all these items for??”
Me: “- to eat?”
Bagger: ” I mean what are all these melons and apples and nuts and avocados for? You have so much fruit and vegetables!?” (at which point I so badly wanted to correct her and say “many” not “much”-but held back.)
Me: “- to eat?”
Bagger: “wow you must have a huge family to feed!!!”
Me: “just the 4 of us”(taking into consideration that I hadn’t even remembered to buy dog food but was too time constrained to  get out of line to ask the octogenarian clerk to help me find it )


Bagger: “So you mean you stock up for weeks?”
Me: ” Nope –we’ll go through this in 2 -3 days” (suddenly overcome with doubt- thinking maybe we do EAT TOO MUCH)
Bagger : “man, if my cart looked like that I would probably be able to get off my insulin!!!”

And BOOM!- just like that- I was reminded of exactly WHY I BOTHER to take the time to go to the store to load up on FRESH produce.

Mission accomplished.

Lesson Learned:

When you treat yourself to healthful choices your are rewarded with a healthy body. Who cares how many comments you get on the way- embrace the stares by knowing that you’re the one with the power to stay fit for life. But just remember to feed your dog.

And now for some Burpees! Please subscribe to my Youtube channel and keeps sending me suggestions of topics of the day!!:

https://www.youtube.com/user/Balsamfitsecret

 

Be careful when you click on your favorite brand!…

 

I HATE shopping.

I absolutely detest it. I hardly have time for a Publix run let alone spending more than a minute browsing in a retail store for clothing.

Which is why I buy EVERYTHING ONLINE – from kitchen supplies to clothing for work, swim, casual, kids, workout, husband- you name it – I only buy online.

I simply don’t have time- let alone PATIENCE- to shop at the mall.

So last night, when I was browsing online with my 10 year old for summer clothes, we came across some new shopping sites. She mentioned to me that she liked a brand called“so nikki”- so I did what any tech savvy mama does and GOOGLED the word “so nikki” .

The first few items that came up were the typical Amazon and eBay items- which were OK but nothing special- so when I clicked on the  next link- it brought us directly to a  website titled: “sonikki.com”- which I proceeded to navigate to while my 10 year old sat next to me in hopes of finding some great new clothes.

However, instead of a retail chain it brought us directly to a hardcore XXX PORN site !

(yes, I said US- in other words- BOTH myself and my 10 year old child watched TOGETHER as the very buxom blonde proceeded to – well- you know where this goes).

OY VEY.

I panicked.

I literally froze  in my tracks as we sat there together in unison SHOCKED  – just WATCHING – like a train wreck where I couldn’t look away – yet knew I must do SOMETHING immediately  ( I kind of blanked out – but I’m pretty sure her words were:

”EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I suppose the super strength of a mama in distress took over and I immediately X-ed out of the site- but not  before I realized she had seen TOO MUCH.

My first thought was – do I need to call a family psychologist?

Is this going to cost me years of therapy ?

But just like that – she ran out of the room to tell her sister what happened and all I could hear from the other room was hysterical LAUGHTER and more words like “So GROSS!!!” .

Lesson Learned:

There are many dangers out there awaiting OUR children -and we can not protect them from everything- but if it happens to occur that they are exposed to things they should not be exposed to before their time- then at least let it be accompanied by us-their PARENTAL GUARDIAN- where we can walk them through and explain to them the TRUTH behind it all. (Such as- in 10 years from now- when You’re old enough to appreciate it-  I’m sure the online  “material” will be significantly BETTER quality).

Happy Friday!!!

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