The other night I was watching the Adam Sandler movie “50 first dates” for the 50th time (I can’t watch that movie enough- makes me giggle out loud each and every time)…..there’s a great line that Drew Barrymore says after each date, which is always her “first” date because her character suffers from amnesia and she doesn’t remember any of her prior dates with Adam Sandlers character (if you haven’t seen the movie by all means stop what you’re doing, get out of carpool lane, leave your office, abandon your shopping cart and go rent it this instant!) – anyway- after each first date they kiss and she declares:
“Theres nothing like a first kiss”.
I just love that line. “Firsts” of anything are irreplaceable.
First kiss. First job. First time you have sex. First marriage (she said with tongue in cheek). First baby.
It’s natural to experience a mixture of feelings, from apprehension or anxiety to joy and elatedness with each time you experience something new or do something for the first time. You didn’t know what to expect before it occurred and now that you have – it could have been something completely different that what you anticipated or beyond better than you ever dreamed it would be. Every “first” serves a purpose in our lives, it teaches us something new.
Like when you have your first baby, you prepare for 9 months and yet the day your child is born your life changes so drastically and so….well,suddenly. All the planning doesn’t prepare you for your “first” time.
I just had my first death.
In a matter of a week, I moved to a new state, started my kids in a new school, made some new friends, turned 40, and my father, whom I was very close to, died. Major life changes. The funny thing is that I kind of knew what to expect. I had been prepared for this “first” for years as he was not healthy toward the end. Yet when it actually happens to you, nothing can prepare you for it. No depiction in a movie with clouds and harps, no plot in a TV show (although Ghost Whisperer did a really good job of teaching me that i could talk to him until he crosses over but Miranda wasnt available that week:)
Death….it is so final. So sudden.
There is a great line in the classic movie, Fletch, when he discusses the death of a man named Ed:
Dr. Dolan: You know, it’s a shame about Ed.
Fletch: Oh, it was. Yeah, it was really a shame. To go so suddenly like that.
Dolan:He was dying for years.
Fletch:Sure, but… the end was very… very sudden.
Dolan: He was in intensive care for eight weeks.
Fletch: Yeah, but I mean the very end, when he actually died. That was extremely sudden.
Whats amazing is how we humans learn to cope.
My father was 80, he was fortunate to have lived a long life.
I am 40. If i am lucky enough to make it to 80 than i am exactly middle age. I have exactly half a lifetime to improve, to progress, to get better.
I will not go out and buy a red flashy car or look for husband number 2 (one is plent-ty!) , but I WILL take each day to improve something about my life.
Hence, why I am back to blogging….its been a long time i know.
I’m back to motivate, to be motivated and to inspire myself and anyone who cares to join me for the ride.
Most of you who follow my blog are approximately the same age as I am. You too have an opportunity to take this second half of your life and make changes (that is of course, if all works out and you don’t get hit by bus tomorrow- but isnt that even more of a reason to improve yourself today?)
I allowed myself to get caught up in the hectic hustle and bustle of the big move to Florida (excuse #1!) I stopped working out because I didn’t have time to squeeze it in during packing and organizing the move (excuse #2!) I allowed myself to eat whatever i wanted on the go , after all, i was so busy (excuse #3!)
Three strikes and youre out!
And in turn,I got just a little fat. My kids love to point out that my tushy is just a little mushy. I do appreciate my new ta-tas though- even though i know they wont last.
But alas, after 30+ days of “mourning” I joined the local gym and found myself annoyed at my digression. Which just motivated me even more to push myself up from this rut- not my first rut- but one of many that i will endure in life- but HOW i will handle that rut is what I plan to change.
Death is probably the only “first” that we can’t control. When it comes it comes. But what we can control is what we do with our lives while we are still living.
If your day to day is just getting by – than you’re doing something wrong.
Let’s focus on this second half of our lifetime- the new and improved half. We have half a lifetime of experience and understanding now to make us stronger and wiser.
Are you with me?
P.S. Please dont send condolences -this blog was not written with that intention, simply a life change is in order and I am so excited to embrace it!!