One popular truism that’s always struck me as exceptionally ignorant and potentially damaging is: “People don’t change.”
the reality is MOST people don’t WANT to change.
By accepting it as fact that we CAN’T change, we are simply admitting defeat and accepting our weaknesses as no fault of our own. When we get to a certain level of comfort (and by comfort idont mean to imply that we are happy….comfortable can be majorly painful) in who we are and what we do we fall into the danger zone or as I refer to :
“ Distressful Contentment”… Painful enough to WANT to change yet COMFORTABLE enough NOT to.
It’s much easier to continue a harmful behavior when responsibility is blamed on an outside source.
For example, women with pear shaped bodies blame their mothers and genetics for their jiggly thighs yet fail to do the mandatory squats and lunges to actually make the change. In my case I don’t just eat ONE cookie but have to inhale the entire package….after all its not my fault, i have an addictive personality.
So hear this people!!! Change CAN happen – yes you heard correctly: people Can change….but ONLY when you’ve simply had ENOUGH.
Change can only occur when The PAIN of staying as you are becomes too substantial and your ONLY alternative is to start looking for a positive way out. This is often referred to as “ROCK BOTTOM”.
In other words, by NOT changing causes too much PAIN.
It is easy to become comfortable in our own habits and way of life. We get caught up in the day to day (to day to day). Most people stay within their comfort zones for their entire adult life.
Entire LIFE. That’s a LONG time (for the lucky ones).
Staying in our comfort zone does not necessarily mean that we are happy, it simply means that we are used to the life we have created or has been created for us and we don’t want to or know how to change. The inability to make that change is what often keeps people from finding happiness and success.
When people worry or stress about their situation or everyday routine–such as worrying about finances or their relationship with their spouse or their weight–they are questioning these relationships with money, partners, themselves but they are not stepping outside their comfort zone to do anything about the issues that lie beneath. When we continue to question without taking action we are keeping ourselves in a little box, which provides the comfort of knowing where we stand. Taking any real action to improve one’s situation and change one’s situation would be a very uncomfortable endeavor and can be viewed as risky. The longer we stay in our situation as it is, the more comfortable and accepting we are of it being just the way it is.
The first step to break this mold is to do things that you aren’t comfortable doing and it doesn’t need to be directly correlated with what you are looking to change. For instance, if you are looking to lose weight, try a Karate class or go online and learn about Astrology!!!! …..point being : open your mind and direct it away from food. Whatever it is that makes you tick, try choosing 3 things to do that are out of your box and force yourself to do them. You may just surprise yourself by how little modifications may open up to create real and meaningful change and growth.
A man I know has a very serious demeanor. You never know what he’s thinking. He recently decided to get out of his comfort zone by forcing himself to smile ear to ear like the Joker in Batman for no apparent reason. (He was told as a young teen that he had a weird smile and hadn’t showed his teeth in pictures since!!) He was determined to make the change from being so serious all the time and figured this contrived happiness was a good method of breaking out of his comfort zone. Initially we all laughed our asses off when he started to show his pearly whites as ridiculous and forced, but you know what?…. now his smiling is natural and quite infectious! He is so much better looking now too!
By challenging yourself to do something different that seems uncomfortable, you can ultimately yield outstanding rewards.