Honk if you want the right of way….

People often ask me how I come up with my material for my blog. I answer that it is typically whatever happens to me that day that triggers a random thought which leads to a stray tangent of mostly me thinking out loud – or rather- in writing.

Sometimes I have writers block and can’t think of anything interesting to say so that day I may skip my post or simply write something uninteresting. (in the latter case, I sincerely apologize for the lack of entertainment).

Today, however, I discovered a magnificent source for material…..a true oasis of content for writers….

PUBLIX.

For those New Yorkers who are still faithfully following my posts (why, thank you for your loyalty), Publix is the Shoprite of Florida, only instead of BIG aggressive people pushing each other in narrow aisles, it has very PETITE fragile old people pushing each other in wheelchairs in extra wide aisles (they have to be wide enough to fit the walkers).

O.M.G.

A writers paradise!!!

Today’s story begins with myself – rushing as usual- getting in line to checkout. I hadn’t realized I was in the WRONG line as I seemed to have absently wandered into the

“10 items or less express lane” when I so CLEARLY had 11 items. I only know I had 11 items because the gentleman behind me pointed out the 11th culprit to me and asked me (albeit politely) to either remove one of the objects from the register or move into the other lane. When I pointed out (albeit politely) that the checkout boy had already started ringing me up and it IS only ONE extra item, well, you would have thought I was asking Gandhi to have my baby.

But it doesn’t stop there….the checkout boy decided it was his righteous duty to take on this very serious cause and lecture me for a full 3 1/2 minutes on the RULES of express lanes. He was obviously eager to show off his knowledge from grocery store college.

Then in the parking lot as I was pulling out of my spot, a white Toyota (Publix parking lot has only 2 types of cars at any given time of the day: Toyota’s and Hyundai’s) came pulling out of nowhere directly at me – and the driver – without looking behind him as his eye level was several feet below the steering wheel let alone the rear view mirror-  luckily stopped short just before crashing into me.

When I lowered my window to give him a little glare and intimidating stare down (albeit politely) he rolled his window down to defend himself and shouted (only because he couldn’t hear himself) out in his raspy old man voice: “ Hey – I beeped didn’t I?”

I couldn’t argue with that now could I? He beeped! That’s Floridian for “everyone here I come!”

So apparently the rules of the road in Florida are simple: Beep and you automatically have the right of way.

One last recent incident that made me smile:

last week I was at the bank and an older lady came in, waited in a long-ish line, and at her turn she approached the teller simply to complain that there was no Menorah in the window- only Xmas decor. The teller apologized profusely and explained that the Menorah was ordered but hadnt arrived yet (it was first week of November and holidays are not until Decemeber but that did not seem to matter to the woman).

The woman argued with the young teller for a good 15 minutes  (I only know this because I was making a wire transfer so it usually takes about that long to complete and receive confirmation) and as I rushed out of there the woman was still arguing even though it was clear that the teller had no control of the situation whatsoever.

I had to smile and wonder to myself?: WIll I EVER have THAT MUCH time in my life to make a special trip JUST to complain??!!!

What a nice luxury!

happy weekend folks!!

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