Warning: this blog is about fake boobies. If you’re offended by that statement than you can skip reading this post and tune in again tomorrow. For those of you who are lucky enough to have them than keep reading with tongue in cheek and know I envy you!
Since I moved to Florida I have been enlightened by the abundance of older people and thus the plastic surgery and “enhancements” that come along with them…what never ceases to amaze me is just how common and available the less and even more invasive procedures are here…you can fill your tank with gas, get a car wash, a pack of cigarettes and botox your frown lines all in a single 15 minute stop, talk about convenience!
But where I really can’t help myself from staring is when I see the old ladies with their fake tatas sitting so buoyantly on their aged chests. Now I’m not naïve to plastic surgery and I’m all in favor of doing something that makes you happy and I’ve certainly been a member of every gym and changed in enough locker rooms in Manhattan when I lived there for 18 years to have see enough fake boobies in my lifetime. Many of my close friends have them and I have always envied them in my own size A way- yet could never imagine having a pair of my own. So yes, I’ve seen and admired all colors and shapes but to see them all perky on an “older” – less perky- carriage – I can’t help staring as if I were a 13 year old boy watching the ‘Solid Gold Dancers’ for the first time back in 1977…the awkward staring the open mouth gaping that I do is so embarrassing when I realize that its coming from my mouth- I just can’t help it they’re just amazing to watch…just yesterday I was out for a walk and the target in front of me must have been all of 82 female white hair and the bounciest Double D’s I’d ever seen. As if sensing my amazement she immediately stopped and offered her Dr’s name and # and told me she”d just had them redone. So I did what any normal gracious person would do – I remarked on how fabulous they were – and I took the number down and put it in my contacts. Filed under the group : for when I turn 80 – alongside the contacts for where to buy nude pantyhose and sunglasses that cover your entire face.
Maybe Im a product of marketing back in the 80’s where the woman on the Oil of Olay commercial would say she didn’t want to grow old gracefully she intended to fight it every step of the way or maybe i’m just more aware of my own aging process and just how fast life happens to me….. either way I have to admit that these women here look – GOOD!….
On a more serious note, today my husband is in NY to attend his Uncle’s funeral. Unfortunately, his uncle was sick for years but it is a reminder to us all that life really is short. Enjoy the moments. Im not going to remind you to hug your kids or stop and smell the flowers…..you know all that already. I will continue to write about frivolous subjects such as fake boobies because they make me smile and add some lightheartedness to an otherwise serious day.
So DO take a minute to laugh about something silly or smile for no reason at all. Yes, life is short But YES it is just as easy to smile. One last adorable tying to help you get your smile on:
I snapped this picture last week at the bank….this man was just too cute- he was all bejeweled and had a toupee and was flirting non stop with the teller…had to capture the moment- it made me grin ear to ear. (Not to mention he flirted with me too!)