Yesterday I took the kids to the club for breakfast before golf camp. I know what you’re thinking- they live such a tough life…my youngest actually asked me the other day if I am jealous of her childhood. Yes. Yes I am.
I know a parent shouldn’t be envious of their own child but when you grow up playing tennis, golf and swimming every day – who wouldn’t be? I grew up shoveling snow in May and wearing turtle necks to bed.
So there I was at the outdoor breakfast buffet and a woman caught my eye. She had the curliest head of hair I had TRULY ever seen. Now, being a Jewish girl from New York, I have seen a PLETHORA of standard curly heads, and I am certainly no virgin to the curls myself, having had as many perms in the 80’s that a head can tolerate, but THIS woman in particular not only wore her curls as a crown but truly seemed to EMBRACE her hair as a form of royalty.
Let me explain…
She had BANGS!!! Curls with bangs…. O.M.G.
Rule #1 through Rule # 100,0000:
If you have curly hair you must never EVER cut bangs! It’s simply an implied religion. A Blind faith of curly Q’s. Every curly head learns that simple rookie mistake that we all make ONCE in our young lives…once you cut bangs they frizz up into your hairline and never seem to drop. The remainder of the head then becomes framed like a mushroom and before you know it, you are looking like a child seared by Bernadette Peters and fathered by a poodle.
It’s simply not pretty.
But there she stood…this curly head woman of Valor….I just had to stare. I suppose she must have felt my gaze and beady eyes because she looked over at me and I just felt compelled to say something. I immediately told her I just adore her hairstyle and just how adorable it looked. Yes, I used the word “Adorable”. OY.
Immediately i realized I used adjectives to describe a 4 year and was on the verge of insulting her so i continued to put my very large foot in my mouth….I explained that I have never seen a head so ample of life and so full of bounce! I continued by actually describing her curls’ texture and bounce / slash/ volume. I just kept going and going describing how much I admired the tameness of her velocity of the actual curl itself.
Before i knew it i had spent a good 5 minutes embracing her very risky hairdo and just at the point of no return her mother walked by and this woman took this opportunity to prove her own critical mother wrong. She could not wait to tell her mama that the strange lady (that would be me) was so complimentary of her hair when just minutes before her own mother was repudiating her for her unruliness and lack of style, rhyme and reason to her daughters hair.
In other words, I intervened between a critical mother and her offspring. I made this woman’s day, month, year….I was in fact, a HERO.
I think I broke the golden rule of mother daughter dynamics and intervened between a right of passage that a mother is entitled to: to CRITICIZE her offspring.
But alas, I did not care in the least bit because for just a moment I had made that young ringlety woman’s day and I- yes ME – was a HERO, a SUPERSTAR for a minute.
compliment someone and they will feel good.
compliments= positive energy= internal reward.
Try it. It may just make you feel like a better person- even if you were simply gawking and got caught.