I was in Publix last week and an elderly man was being pushed on a wheelchair through the dairy aisle by his male nurse / hired companion. The old man continued to berate the younger aide loudly and in such a disdainful foul mouthed manner that at first glance I thought the man had dementia and simply was not aware of his words and revolting behavior.
But then the elderly man ( notice I did NOT use the term “gentleman” because he was the farthest thing from it) started talking to me about mundane things such as which yogurt I preferred (Greek 0% mixed with cinnamon and sweet potato!!) and which dressing I liked ( Butter spray! I use it on everything!!!) – all this common place chit chat alerted me to the fact that he was 100% in charge of his own faculties- in other words he did NOT have dementia- he was simply an A Hole.
I considered saying something to him- enlightening him with my own positive energy- but then decided not to – not out of respect – although I do believe that there is a pecking order when it comes to the option of doling out advice – but more so because in Florida – it’s totally legal if you’re above the age of 4 to carry a concealed weapon- and I certainly wasn’t taking any risks while holding my cottage cheese. Nobody wants to clean up THAT mess.
This type of behavior is nothing new and unfortunately goes on all the time- it can happen anywhere where there is a leader follower dynamic in a relationship – from teacher / student, boss / worker , priest or rabbi/ pupil, the list goes on and on. But the absolute worst case scenario is when there is NO relationship at all but the abuse comes from a total stranger. Has that ever happened to you where you are minding your own business and someone comes out of nowhere – may cut you off in line at the bakery – or while you are sitting watching your childs game- and their own self centered (FALSE) sense of entitlement causes them to speak down to you?
The answer is it happens ALL the time – HOWEVER- when it happens to me- I am usually the one to attack right back and then the scene just turns into an all out bar fight. I never allow anyone to speak negatively to me and thye always wish they hadnt afterwards.
At least that was the old me- the before FLORIDA aware of guns concealed on everyone me- now I work on myself to bite my tongue and kill them with kindness instead. A smile is OH SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL than words!!! I guarantee you that if you smile widely – Muriels Wedding wide- the attacker will back off in total fear. They will also think you are insane…… WORTH IT!
When I witness this act of ENTITLEMENT on others it makes me cringe on an entirely different level than the obvious, I tense up because I get it. There is a certain power struggle involved in any superior/inferior relationship and to some it can cause a “high” which allows the person in the superior position to continue- maybe even strengthen their sense of empowerment.
This power the boss feels over the subservient employee is often stemmed from weakness from the latter party and insecurity from the former.
There is also a sense of entitlement that the “stronger” party has over the other – less strong – which can be the most destructive part of the personality trait of all. For instance, Naomi Campbell believed in her own Super model mind she is entitled to act like a Diva and therefore can abuse her assistants by throwing whatever weapon of choice- cell phones for one- at them.
What am I getting at here?
I think there is strength in each of us. HOW we allow ourselves to USE that strength is entirely up to us.
Not one of us is more entitled to respect over another person. We each need to work on our OWN strength and position if for the betterment of ourselves.
I for one, enjoy using the power of words to improve MY day by always complimenting someone – regardless of who they are. I enjoy turning a frown on someones face into a smile simply by using my words to say something nice about them. It is an act that has two features- a selfless benefit – where I make the other person feel good- and a selfish feature where I feel that very same “high” – a feeling of accomplishment because I had the control of making someone feel good about themselves. Now THAT’S power!!!
It’s actually quite amazing when you think about it… YOU can have the Power to make someone else feel GOOD or feel BAD… It’s entirely up to you on how you use your words.
What comes out of our mouths is JUST as – or possibly even more so- important as what comes INTO them. (sounds so dirty I know -get your minds out of the gutter folks!)
now, speaking of whats going into our mouths…..
Today’s healthy favorite of choice:
Canned salmon! A total time savor and inexpensive way to get amazing heart healthy protein!!
- Drain canned pink salmon into large mixing bowl
- add liquid egg whites
- add FLAXSEED meal (ground) instead of breadcrumbs! It’s a great way to add healthy fats and the consistency you need to make a salmon patties without the processed trans fat that comes with bread crumbs !!! Feel free to add other cut up vegetables such as canned corn or chopped tomatoes etc
- spray fry pan with Pam or Olive oil and make small fist size balls with your hands of the mixture. fry each side (approximately 3 minutes each) and whala!!!! delicious salmon croquettes!!!!
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