I don’t allow my kids to cry. Seriously. They are not allowed to whine or shed a tear. If they are mad about something or frustrated to the brink of tears…the minute a moist drop descends down their cheeks I tell them- no ORDER them – to TOUGHEN UP!!!
I run a zero tolerance household for weeping.
I know what you’re thinking….I should prepay the therapist for them now – but before you all go on the attack of my lack of coddling motherly abilities hear me out….
When I was a kid I grew up with 3 brothers, 3 male cousins and a WHOLE lot of wedgies and nipple twisting. No tears.
Despite being the only girl, I was the furthest thing from a princess and I learned early on to be tough …..the punching out of our emotions made me who I am today: A TOUGH as NAILS Ball Buster with a penchant for Reality Housewives…. but that’s not necessarily what I strive for my girls to grow up to become…but rather, the part where TEARS ARE NOT SUBSTITUTES FOR WORDS is what I’m trying to teach.
Don’t get me wrong- if they fall and get a concussion they are allotted 5 minutes of crying time.
BLOOD adds an extra 2 minutes and a BONE sticking out adds another 3.
10 minutes is the cap.
The lesson I’m trying to enforce – I mean edify – is to DEAL with your problems…face the fear and CONFRONT the ISSUE.
Don’t CRY AWAY the problem and assume it will resolve itself – because lord knows if your own mother isn’t going to listen to tears….I assure you no one else will.
I began this anti tear campaign years ago and after much effort I think its finally paid off. Now my girls never cry- but instead they use the ultimate FEMALE POWER:…..
My little prodigies have mastered the art of debate so well that NOW they are out negotiating ME – a self described master negotiator – so now instead of caving into tears…I’m left with no choice but to cave into EVERY argument – EVERY quarrel- EVERY altercation or dispute is directly confronted by the power of WORDS.
I NEVER win now. I don’t stand a chance.
Although I am so proud that I won the war on tears by teaching them the tools of mediation – I must admit I am somewhat dumbfounded when I realize that I ultimately lost the battle of who is REALLY IN COMMAND….sure as hell isn’t me.
I suppose the lesson learned is that no matter what the apparatus that is used in a argument- be it tears, whining, words, swords or what have you- ultimately it comes down to Who can OUTLAST the other.
Monday!!! Fresh start!! Go to it! Remember- use your words carefully! They are more powerful than tears.