The Tooth Fairy arrived the other night to collect my 6 year olds’ second tooth.
Normally this right of passage would be uneventful but in my house it went like this:
Daughter #2: “Mommy my tooth is loose!!!”
Me (with my finger in her mouth checking said tooth, distracted by Daughter # 1’s flirtatious giggling in the other room while she was on the ipad face-timing with a boy in her class) : “ Nope not ready yet – wait a few days”
Daughter #2: “ just try -please mommy!”
Me: “uh huh – ok” (with my finger still in her mouth while I’m simultaneously YANKING my neck all the way around my shoulder in a position only a contortionist would envy to try and eavesdrop on Daughter #1 getting EVEN MORE coquettish and flirtatious with said boy in class ).
By this point I was in a full on YOGI BIND to crank entire body near doorway to listen in on the ridiculous yet adorable conversation Daughter #1 was having with this poor boy who clearly had no control of the conversation as she is TELLING him – no – ORDERING him to be her boyfriend as he is quietly acquiescing and suggesting they try it out in class for 2 hours right after the morning Pledge of Allegiance.
But first, he tells her, he has to ask his Mom.
I can’t be sure of much else after that because before I had the chance to hear how they said goodnight to each other, Daughter #1 hung up because of all the screaming and BLOOD GUSHING from Daughter #2’s mouth….YUP…..I had yanked the damn thing out without even knowing it- having been too busy snooping on the Face-time escapade that I stretched my body just a WEE bit TOO far .
So after everyone calmed down and Daughter #2 wrote a note asking the Tooth Fairy for a Beyblade (for those who don’t know what the hell that is – join the group- but apparently you get it at Target which wasn’t happening at 10:00PM while I was in my PJ’s already half way through my second glass of wine).
By the next morning Daughter #2 was so excited that The Tooth Fairy had come – and I was just relieved she didn’t catch me sneaking into her PIGGY BANK because the Tooth Fairy had No CASH.
All was good.
It is true when the powers that be tell you that kids GROW UP SO FAST.
Keep them close and monitor (i.e.: CONTROL) their every move. The closer you are to them (meaning the more you read their texts and emails) the more impact you can have when talking to them about LIFE Lessons ( and how BOYS really DO make you DUMB).
All I know is that I am in for some big conversations in the next few years because my girls apparently are EXACTLY LIKE THEIR MAMA when it comes to their assertiveness and confidence and their hankering for CHASING BOYS so I plan to do what ANY OTHER GOOD MOTHER would do in the same situation:
Next week I am getting my GUN LICENSE.