If you ever need to feel good about yourself…..

If you ever have a bad day and want to feel good about yourself – just go to Walmart (ANY in the Midwest will suffice but most especially in Florida)……

Here, in this colossal mecca of the Southern Hemisphere lives a species of CREATURES that are so fascinating to observe – both from a sociological viewpoint – to a behavioral analytical one….it just makes ANYONE who has FRONT TEETH and DOESN’T weigh 400 pounds – feel like a Supermodel.


As I peruse through the habitat I notice the creatures with the most power are dominating the snack aisle – they are large and threatening and they clearly eat their young.

The inner aisles consist of the OLDER and weaker species, those that struggle to reach the toilet paper from the top shelf….they are similar in breed to chameleons as they scurry and scatter to blend into the walls when a LARGER and younger predator comes by. (Usually on a motorized wheelchair with a speed limit of 90 MPH.)

The WARM Blooded species who generate their own body heat (mostly due to their enormous size and plethora of fat rolls) gravitate in the FROZEN section. It is there where all different types of colored species swim in and out of the pizza refrigerator in search of sustenance that cooks in 30 seconds or less.

The smaller, more petite and frail COLD Blooded species, dressed in pink cardigans and bifocals, remain dominant in the heat of the cafeteria where two day old Cheese Nachos are offered alongside the Day old hotdogs.

By far, the most defensive creature of ALL is the FEMALE of any breed, as SHE is the prominent fixture in the

“10 Items or Less” Check Out aisle who holds down the homestead with her 50 + items and EXTRA LARGE backside. No other animal dares to intervene with her maternally protective and threatening instincts.

And now to sum it up for you in a video:

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