Staycation is all it’s CRACKED up to be…..

Yesterday we spent the majority of the day at the club pool – on Holidays and most long weekends they have a DJ, a face painter, balloon maker, BBQ and all you can eat buffet which basically means as much ice cream as my kids  can possibly stuff into their tiny mouths …..it takes the term “STAYCATION” to the next level.

(My 6 year old asks me all the time if I am jealous of her childhood.Yes. Yes I very much AM.)

Well, like in every perfect paradise there is usually a catch……

It seems that regardless of how rich and luxurious living in a country club can be, there seems to always be ONE person who just can’t appreciate the gifts he or she is given.

Such a person was at the club sunbathing in the lounge chair next to mine.

I had left my towels and a bag on our chairs and we went into the pool for a while, upon my return to the chair I found a bag of Doritos and about a 10000000 crumbs surrounded by even more flies sitting on my towel and my bag was on the wet floor next to it- contents strewn amok.

SO being the anal neat freak that I am,  I said (in a very loud and clear voice to no one in particular) : “I can’t believe what pigs people can be that they have the nerve to take my chair AND spill crumbs all over it”…..

OK, I admit, it wasn’t the nicest thing I could say even though it was to no one in particular- as I had no clue at the time it was the woman next to me-  until SHE turned over popping out of her way too small bikini and declared in her nastiest voice:

“ LADY  (yes she called me LADY- not the best way to start a conversation with a woman over 40) you have some big mouth yelling over food – my kids have been sitting there and its not a big deal. YOU ARE CRAZY!!!” – …. Wait – it gets better – she continued with:

“Whats the matter with you? ARE YOU ON CRACK????”

Now, I need you to know some thing about me.

As a writer, I appreciate the Fine Art of Linguistics.

I have always believed that anyone who swears or uses curse words as part of their daily vocabulary are simpletons who just don’t know better. They make an impression of being uneducated and moronic. (Not that I don’t curse – Lord knows that working in Financial Services for 2 decades I have been known as more than a BALL BUSTER but one with a truck driver mouth who holds her own in a Men’s Club) but to use foul language or “potty talk” at the pool for no real reason other than she could not think of anything better to say…..well- that’s simply unacceptable.

One of my biggest PET PEEVES is when someone uses the term: “Are you on crack?” do they expect the answer to be “why yes, yes I am on crack and i plan to eat your face now”.

In any other situation I would have retorted right back but being that she said that in front of my  CHILDREN I contained myself, explained in a very calm voice that her question is highly inappropriate to ask me in front of KIDS (at which point she was suddenly silenced ) and I very loudly explained TO my children that CLASSY PEOPLE –  don’t talk badly to other people and to just ignore the NASTY woman. I explained what “taking the high road” meant as I glared straight into the eyes of said trash.

When they asked me what is “Crack” – I had no choice but to explain to them (in front of the idiot woman) that it is a term for a drug that we will NEVER EVER try because it kills people and this woman is  unintelligent and uneducated and therefore doesn’t   know another word to express how unhappy she was that I criticized her chip mess so instead she used a very bad word because she simply didn’t know better. (If she did, she’d know that LADIES prefer POT, not crack).

I also took that as an opportunity to teach my kids NOT to talk back or be RUDE to others- that saying mean things or using curse words only makes you look STOOPID.

With that we went on with our fun day of swimming and BBQ then off to fireworks at the beach. A good time had by all.

Lesson Learned:

Even when someone tries to get into your head with belittling remarks, it is up to YOU to allow entry.

Keep them out of your head and you will be ZEN.

Allow them IN and YOU will let THEM Win.

Let it GO. Enjoy LIFE and don’t let the little people with small minds bother you.

Now DAY 9 – did you survive the July 4th BBQ’s??? GOOD JOB! Keep on going!