Ok, so by now you know I have a laundry list of unrealistic anxieties that could easily put my imaginary therapist in early retirement ( that is, if I weren’t too lazy to hire one….which is why mine is completely in my MIND …. kind of like the original snuffeluffugus before they outed him and ruined Sesame Street.)
Let’s reassess now shall we?
1. There’s the ever present unrealistic fear of sharks. Check!
- The newly acuired fear of driving in south florida.
- The Publix parking lot.
Check! (Although I suppose that coincides with fear of driving in South Florida – all in the same )
- The fear of kidnappers, child molesters, terrorists, Obama ….have i covered them all yet?
Well, I obtained a new DOOZIE today:
Fear of FLYING – through a HURRICANE.
I spent the weekend in NJ and although I enjoyed spending time with family, I still kept a close eye on the storm watch – anticipating flight cancelations.
So when JetBlue didn’t cancel our flights I thought it would be easy breezy….
Until it wasn’t
Yet, I remained oblivious to it all – so focused on getting home that the danger of flying through the storm didn’t really set in.
I suppose I should have gotten the first hint that this wasn’t going to be an easy flight when the captain lit up the “fasten seat belt” sign the minute we took off and never shut it off.
Perhaps the second hint was when I got up mid flight to use the bathroom (which had a flash flood of toilet water splashed all over the floor due to so much turbulence) and the steward made me sign a WAIVER.
The next hint should have occurred to me when the stewardess donned a parachute the entire flight and crossed herself with a few hail mary’s and asked if theres anyone who knows how to fly a plane.
But alas, I continued on my flight of oblivion in naivety and FAITH that we would indeed make it home (I always have a false sense of security when I see a chassid in the back of the plane with his curly pais and black robe shaking and bending forward and backward fervently in prayer. It makes me believe that if SOMEONE is so focused on trying to tune god in – there has to be some sense of Karmic appreciation from above for the eagerness. A for Effort right? )
So there I sat with all these hints slapping me in the face yet I still faithfully believed that i will land safely – this plane ride could NOT be the way it all ENDS for ME now could it?
I sometimes conjure up all kinds of dumb death scenarios – how it will all end when my time is up….from an alligator wrestling match gone wrong, to a kettlebell falling on my head at the gym….but in no way is there a plane crash involved…that’s way too GLAMOROUS and Kennedy like for MY lifestyle.
So it came to pass that we landed safely and ON TIME- with only a few bumps and vomiting in between.
When we arrived home to some minor storm damage – a branch split open the canopy above the guest house and the pool looked as if the Rolling Stones had their last reunion in it….other than that we stayed indoors and enjoyed the fact that we STILL HAD POWER even though 80,000 other Floridians didn’t.
So when my kids complained that the cable function: IN DEMAND wasn’t working and they weren’t able to rent their movies I felt that I had no choice but to take the opportunity to teach theme a life lesson…..
When in a crisis, sometimes you need to buckle down and TOUGHEN UP.
When I was a kid and we had a blackout we would light the fireplace and roast marshmallows (ok, that happened ONCE – at my FUN FRIENDS house – but still – GOOD TIMES!!!)
Nowadays, when kids are so accustomed to electronic toys, Face Time, Apps, and HD TV – it’s actually REFRESHING to take a BREAK from it all and TALK or play a card game.
Try it. You may just experience an actual memory that you will cherish for a lifetime.
Now for some fun clips to get you through this Tropical Storm (assuming you have power)…