If you get a job at a Bath Salt factory you will not have to beg…..

Every morning on the way back from driving the kids to school I pass a main intersection on a wide stretch of highway. Some mornings there are homeless men with signs made out of cardboard boxes cardboard which read :


or there’s men in bright iridescent yellow T shirts selling the homeless newspaper along the intersection as if anyone REALLY wants to read it.

I used to open my window while waiting at the stop light and offer whatever change I had readily available in my bag, but after reading about the homeless man who ATE the face off another man for no particular reason other than he consumed too many BATH SALTS (you heard me, bath salts apparently are the new crack) I decided maybe its not a good idea to open my windows to strangers anymore.

Because of said eating face incident I also started locking my car door now – even if I’m just driving down the block (hey you never know if one of the Chanel wearing Country Club ladies is inhaling bath salts on the way to the golf course.)

So yesterday morning when I noticed a young WOMAN with a cut out cardboard box holding a sign that simply said: “I’m hungry. Feed me”, I had no chocie but to roll down my window.

As any Jewish mother would tell you – it’s hard not to tear up at the thought of someone going HUNGRY – the urge  to FEED becomes overwhelming for us Jewish Mama’s…..especially those approaching mid life.

I suppose there is a Jewish Mother’s Guilt Code about not letting ANYONE go hungry once the umbilical chord is cut. It’s a right of passage. Kind of like circumcision.

So i broke my own rule and rolled down my window and handed her whatever i could find in the back of the car leftover from my kids who barely touched their breakfast (that is whatever was not spilled all over the seats).

It just so happened that I had not had the chance to eat my OATMEAL  and my Greek Yogurt with Blue Berries yet so with that and the kids pancakes with sugar free syrup I felt pretty satisfied that this woman would have a hearty breakfast.

However, my satisfaction dimmed a little when she looked at what I handed to her and declared:

“ I only eat GLUTEN FREE”.

Lesson Learned:

You can give a person  oatmeal and FEED her  for the day OR TEACH a person to GET A JOB and she can BUY  Gluten FREE oatmeal for $8.99 herself.

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