A good friend of mine just organized a monthly card game for a group of 12 women. The idea is to gather the same group of ladies – get them out of their ROUTINE of working, carpool, homework, and everything else in their daily SUPERHERO lives to meet up and BOND once a month for a promising evening of cards, COCKTAILS, food and GOSSIP (the :” did you watch Real Housewives this week?” and “can you believe how much BIGGER KIm Kardashian’s BUTT got? Is that even possible?” kind, not the nasty : “I can’t believe she wore that” – although fun- kind).
So when she invited me to join in, I initially thought “Great idea!” ……..until she told me it would mean i would have to do the impossible:
You see, the group would inevitably depend on me to actually – wait for it – ………SHOW UP.
I have always had a problem committing.
The weekend of my wedding I told my (now husband) that I simply did not want to get MARRIED. Now before you go all Beyonce’ Single Lady nuts on me , I DID preface it with the fact that i still wanted to be WITH HIM forever- I just didn’t want to get MARRIED. Not that i was a runaway bride or anything – I just hated the idea of committing to something so…..well, permanent. It works for Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell so why not for us? (whom incidentally we saw on our honeymoon staying at the same resort as us – so I figure it’s a Karmic way of agreeing with me?)
But alas, He said NO.
I suppose I should thank him for FORCING me to actually go through with it. (That and the fact that i paid for MY OWN non refundable Vera Wang Dress and could think of nowhere else to wear it to). 11 years later I’m happier than ever, yet I still have trouble saying : “Ill be there” when someone invites me somewhere.
I told her I couldn’t commit to showing up once a month let alone hosting ONCE a YEAR.
I know, sounds ridiculous – whats the big deal?
I suppose there isn’t one – I just go by the old adage that people don’t change.
Until I saw the look on her face when i explained that to her and she turned to me, looked me straight in the eye and said : “Yes you can. It’s easy. Just show up.”
And just like that – I am now part of a group of women who will meet once a month and BOND.
For me, the experience will be more than just drinking and playing cards but the idea that people CAN CHANGE.
Sometimes it’s GOOD to FORCE yourself to step out of your routine and comfort zone to actually realize that you ENJOY the experience.
Have a great weekend and don’t be upset when you invite me to your party and I politely decline.
Once a month is plenty. Baby Steps.