In case you were wondering where I’ve been and why the lack of blogging in the past few weeks, it’s not because of writers block (Lord knows all I have to do is go to Pubix or Walmart for easy material.)
Nor was it due to a power outage as ironically, Florida didn’t get affected by Sandy (although I still stocked up on non perishables as if it were headed towards us…..but that’s only because I wanted an excuse to buy cookies. hey, you never know when the power can go out!)
I can’t blame it on the kids or work because that’s all good and status quo.
I can always blame it on my husband simply because that’s my shtick but truth be told it was not him either –THIS TIME- (she said with tongue in cheek knowing full well that its ALWAYS HER fault.)
No, my fellow Blog friends, the reason I’ve been M.I.A. is I have been knee deep in studying for my Securities Law Exam.
TWO of them to be exact. I will be taking one after the other.
…….And I’ve been FAILING every practice test I take.
So when my test date finally arrived after months of ANTICIPation (ok, the actual word is PROcrastination.) I panicked and jumped ship. I paid an extra fee to NOT take the test.
Yes. I actually PAID to postpone the inevitable out of sheer fear of FAILING- a concept I dont accept nor allow in my vocabulary.
BUT- what came as the BIGGEST surprise to me is that I felt ZERO GUILT…..
In fact, I felt GREAT! It made me relate to Thelma and Louise just as they gunned the engine and drove off the cliff. Which is probably what the repercussions will be once I realize I still HAVE TO TAKE the damn test.
The Good Jewish girl in me was screaming out that I need to buckle down and study harder yet the wanna be rebel in me that’s too scared to get a tattoo was rejoicing for the borrowed extra time!
Which brought me to a crossroads…..
Do I take my time even more than necessary to delay the inevitable and study a little each day half heartedly as i have been doing while carrying on my ever increasing demanding job as SuperWoman? Or do I buckle down and crack the books open until the wee hours of the night and make sure I not only PASS but ACE the exams?
It made me think of the basket ball player that lost the winning point because he missed the free throw shot.
A shot he should have been able to make with his eyes closed.
So what did he do? He spent hours and hours after each game ( yes AFTER) to practice JUST the Free Throw shot. (He then went on to lose the next game due to missing a lay-up).
It’s like when I wake up on Monday mornings after a weekend of sheer and utter laziness and excessive eating and drinking…..I sometimes have to Fake it Till I MAKE my way through my workout just to know I got it DONE so that I can face the work week ahead.
Hey, Ya Gotta do what Ya gotta do.
Sometimes it’s OK to take the easy way out and just phone it in.
As long as you know when to push yourself harder when the time is right.
So tomorrow I study. HARD.
But first, I have to go to the HEAT game and “practice” my focus.