Now that the Holiday Season is upon us, it’s time for TV re-runs of all the Holiday classics from childhood’s past.
Each generation has their OWN fond memories of their childhood classics that have meaning to THEM, and depending how old they are, that can range anywhere from “It’s A Wonderful Life” to “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” ( I can’t believe the latter was made 13 years ago already….wasn’t it JUST in Theaters playing opposite “Titanic” and “Home Alone”? …god I’m old…)
But one classic that will always make me wonder how it’s still allowed on TV is “A Charlie Brown Christmas” circa 1965.
(Is it just me or does everyone find him to be a DEBBIE DOWNER PARTY POOPER????)
Now you may ask what’s the matter with Charlie Brown? Seems innocent enough – especially compared to the modern day raunchy shows on Prime Time like “Two And A Half Men” – which apparently destroy your brain (- that neurological factoid is from a very RELIABLE source coming from the ACTUAL child STAR that has made multi-gagillions off of it….HE should know, right?? Good thing he has his priorities straight when selecting which CULT to join…seriously he could have ended up becoming BFF’s with Tom and John in Scientology and that would have for surely destroyed his brain. Oh wait, no it wouldn’t, after all we are all ALIENS right? I’m confused. I must remember to refresh my cult history. )
But alas, I digress…..
So while watching previews of the upcoming revival of Charlie Brown I could not help but think that the Peanuts Gang were just , well, gosh darn it!…..MEAN!!
Let’s take a closer look now, shall we?
First of all, if Charlie Brown were on Facebook today he would undoubtedly have cause to ” unfriend” Lucy. She’s just a beeyotch with a capital “B”.
And what about the fact that he is “bullied” by the rest of the Gang including his own – man’s best friend – Snoopy? Isn’t there ZERO TOLERANCE for bullying these days?
And why do they need to take away his football EVERY TIME he tries to kick it? EVERY TIME! (And why does he keep falling for it? Is he that stupid or perhaps just a masochist? Who knows? Back then fetishes were kept in the closet with Ernie and Bert.)
Even his nerdy pal Linus doesn’t stick up for him and just plays his piano alone…..
And that TweetieBird! Forget it! I bet she stays up all night on Twitter tweeting her heart out about what a bad footbal player Charlie is.
The only character who’s remotely relatable is PigPen. He seems to be COOL.
And it’s not like there’s ANY ADULT supervision around…..considering the fact that every time they try to call one all they get is “wa wa wa WAAAHHH” in response.
So tell me folks….what’s so WONDERFUL about a kid who’s bullied because he’s fat and bald and wears an ugly brown shirt and never gets to participate in the team sport? In my opinion, Charlie Brown is so down on himself that if I were his friend, I would probably want to beat the crap out of him too. (I said “want to” not actually DO it- yeesh! Settle down folks!)
So there must be a very VALID reason this “CLASSIC” hasn’t been censored as of yet. But as of right now it alludes me.
Sometimes a “classic” is simply deemed such because of its DURATION and HISTORICAL presence.
As for MY Holiday Season, Charlie Brown will be BANNED in my household to make room on my DVR for all the QUALITY Disney shows like “Icarly” and “Victorious” . Those girls are soooooo cool. ………..NOT!
And now for some nostalgia: