Ever since I turned 30 I have lied about my age.
It used to be cute when I would say “I’m 24 and sticking to it”.
That little quip would always get a giggle and everyone would say : “You look it!” and THAT was THAT.
Then slowly but surely the wrinkles set in and the greys would creep up 10 days after I just had them colored and suddenly it wasn’t so cute for me to lie anymore.
Yet I had become so confident in fudging about my AGE that I lost track and it got to the point where i would have to ask my mother what my REAL age was each time a birthday came around.
So when my husband and I were out for dinner the other night and another couple at the table next to us struck up a conversation it took me by TOTAL surprise when they assumed that he was…… my SON.
Yup. You heard me right. They thought I was his MOTHER. (Possibly it was the way I was lecturing and scolding him?? Afterall, he refers to me as his “BALLBUSTER”?)
Now let me tell you that it is true my husband has a youthful baby like face not so unlike a Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio vs. a say, Sylvester Stallone or Arnold Schwarzzenger.
But what I did NOT REALIZE was that I had an OLDER , MATRONLY face in comparison.
Talk about taking the term ; “COUGAR” to an all new level. (And no, not in the plastic Courtney Cox way either.)
So I made the decision right then and there to CHANGE things once and for all. And no, it does not involve needles or injections.
Sometimes when you LIE about something it will come right back and bite you in your 41 year old ass.
In my case, I have decided that my NEW line when asked about my age will be as simple as this:
“I’m 54. Yes, I take great care of my skin and I have great genes!” At which point people will undoubtedly be amazed.
And most likely, sigh, BELIEVE me.
But hey, at least I’ll look GREAT for my age!!!