Grab the flower cap and jump right in…..

Saturday mornings I try and avoid the gym – too much hustle and bustle with weekend warriors makes parking tough to find and a machine hard to get. (Besides, they don’t serve free breakfast on weekends like they do during the week, so there’s really no incentive to go).

So instead I swim laps.

This time, when I showed up to the club pool, I found myself just a little more than curious about trying the water aerobics class with the other old ladies in long sleeve rash guards, oversized sunglasses and sun hats the size of a Mexican sombrero.

I suppose it was because they were chatting away and smiling – something was getting them energized!

The music was amazing and hip, and the ladies just seemed to be having so much fun I could not help but be tempted to join them. I made a mental note to self to buy a new bathing cap and jumped right in.

At first, I regretted my decision because I was concerned I wasn’t going to get my heart rate up or get in the endurance and strength training that swimming laps offers. But after a few minutes of the warm up, I started to regret my decision to take this class…. because it was so hard!! Even though they are made of Styrofoam, when submerged underwater, those water weights gave me such a difficult and strenuous workout – I was praying we would move on to legs.

Until we did.

Then I just wished for the class to be over (so I could go to the swim up bar.)

All in all, the workout was intense, fun and different than anything I have done in the gym…. and I loved it!

Lesson Learned:
Go ahead and live a little, do something different. Change it up! Take a jump into the pool. Life is short.

Not just for Wheaties….


Sometimes I can’t think of anything to write about and have to pull a topic out of my ear, and then there are times where my post is handed to me on a silver platter.

Diane Sawyer handed me my article –  on  a gold medal platter- today.

You knew this was coming, we all did (did we have a choice? – Like all competitive news  networks, Dateline has been advertising this sensational story for weeks).

Friday night, along with the rest of the world, I had my eyes glued to the Bruce Jenner interview.

Not for the reasons I initially thought I would- which were mainly out of sheer curiosity to see if this was really a publicity stunt or were all these nasty comedians accurate in their accusations during their monologues all this time (they were- and they should all apologize) but more so because I now have such an entirely different perspective  of him, or as he now prefers to be referred to as, of “her”.

For those of you who missed it, he shared with the world that he has been fighting this urge to be a woman his entire life. He knew from childhood that he wanted to be a girl and because of social pressures, among many other reasons, and just life as we know it, he felt forced to lead his life as a man whom, once in a while, would sneak into one of his 3 ex wives closets to don a dress.


Even if he didn’t tell us, it was quite clear that he is taking so many female hormones and that he is significantly more sensitive and emotional as an effect from them than he has ever been on any of his appearances on the Kardashians – regardless of how muck Kris would beat the crap out of his ego.

I was captivated by his honesty, his brevity, his very inspiring desire for freedom to live out the rest of his life the way he feels he is meant to be. But by far the highlight for me was at one point when Diane (whom incidentally came off as, disingenuous, insincere and almost mocking) asked him;

“Why now?” – implying that, at age 65, when most would argue that he is past his prime and his years of being a “hot” woman have gone.

She referred to him becoming a woman now at this age as his “pantsuit” years. Without missing a beat, (he had already explained the reason he waited this long to do what he wanted his entire life – was because he felt that he needed to wait until his kids were grown – which made me love his responsible, protective and mature nature even more) and agreed that now he would be wearing black pants, black heels and a white blouse (exactly what Diane was wearing).


Overall, I could not help myself from thinking as a I dozed off (Friday night happy hour makes me sleepy) that not only is this an all American hero because he won the 1976 Olympics, but more so because of how, 39 years later, him sharing “her” story- will change the world as we know it.

Lesson Learned:

We are who we are. Be all you can be and be it with pride. (Even if you have to do it in a pantsuit).


Live, Laugh, Love, …..slow down

Funny Sign Slow Down Cop Hides Behind This Sign

My first cousin has cancer. Not the “good kind” like Charlie had in ‘Party of Five’ as Larry David referenced, but the bad kind ….that kills.

He is finally in remission but not quite out of the danger zone, yet he’s still considered a walking miracle.

He is able to work and get back to his daily activities- albeit modified and he seemed to be in good spirits.

When we finally had a chance to catch up last week his best advice to me was simple:

Slow down. Stop rushing.

Image result for rushing funny

You would think he would be in a major rush now that he is finally done with chemo…. A rush to get out and LIVE, to get up and GO, to get down and DO? But in actuality, he just wants to stay put, go to the beach, smoke a good cigar, drink a great glass of scotch and watch his 6 year old daughter swing on the swings.

The irony is that he used to live a FAST life.

He was that highly sought after, wealthy and eligible good looking bachelor, whom for years, partied like a rock star and lived a wild lifestyle.

He said he was always in a rush. He used to drive his Maserati and beep frantically at the slower drivers in front of his lane and then, always very agitated, he would zoom around them to get ahead. He just could not tolerate slow drivers.


He had no patience for lines or for traffic or for anything slow. At one point in time he lived in Florida, the land of the old, so that couldn’t have been easy for his type A personality.

He was always GO, GO, GO!!

Now, he looks back and asks himself “WHY???”

Not “Why me?” about the cancer like you’d think , but “why the rush”??

He told me that if there’s anything good he can take away from this cancer that is eating away inside of him, is that it has slowed him down enough to actually enjoy his time here.

Lesson Learned:

This time it’s simple:

Take it slow, enjoy what you are given and live it fully.

Coke vs. Pepsi? How about Neither?…..

When I was a kid our family dinner always included some sort of caffeinated soda. (Only growing up in Chicago we referred to it as “pop”).

Back then; soda “pop” was a staple at mealtime. Every friend’s house I went to would have a fridge full of all flavors:

grape, orange, mountain dew, ginger ale, cream soda, root beer, coke.

(No Pepsi, only Michael Jackson drank Pepsi.)

My mom would go through 8-12 cans of Tab a day. (She gave up cigarettes in the 70’s for health reasons and took up soda instead. Who knew?)

(This is an actual coupon I found in my moms house before she sold it…..sitting in the same box of coupons for 30 years along with the coupon for $0.39/ pound summer peaches at the Jewel.)

The 80’s were a remarkable time for caffeine-fueled beverages, they weren’t just for college kids and party goers, they were for 8 year olds, picnics and family dinners. Only we did not drink ‘Red bull’, we drank ‘Jolt’.

I rarely saw a pitcher of water. The healthiest drink in our fridge (or so I thought) was concentrated orange juice made from a frozen can of Tropicana. (Which, incidentally, is delicious eaten straight from the can in the frozen state- like a Popsicle).

At Friday night dinner, my brothers and I would have a contest who could mix up the best drink using all the sodas on the table – we would mix the different flavors of soda together in specific amounts to see which elixir tasted the best. We referred to this as our “concoctions” and to this day I love to concoct.

I concoct everything food related and that’s how I come up with my great (I mean gross) sounding – yet healthy- recipes.

Now, with so much information, research and health advice out there, it amazes me that people still drink soda. I only kicked the habit myself about 5 years ago, but I have never looked back.

I used to hate water as a kid. Now, my body craves it and I jug a 2 liter bottle with lemon in it first thing in the morning before anything else (including my coffee.) Then I drink warm lemon water with raw ginger.

Lesson Learned:

We can teach our bodies to adapt to anything. All it takes to kick an unhealthy habit is the desire to want to try.

Find a replacement to ease your way out of an unhealthy vice or make the transition slowly by just cutting out a little at a time.

It will do your body good.

And now for your viewing pleasure:

Fake it till you make it….

When my youngest was in kindergarten she would ask me not to come into the classroom when I would come to pick her up from school. Her reasoning was simple – it was too embarrassing for her because I would “smile too hard”.

It’s true, I am a happy person and I do smile all the time, which is why I have those parenthesis around my lips and refuse to infuse them with restylane and most likely never will. (She says now, but fully understands she has the right to withdraw that statement at any time if she so desires – or buys a Groupon – whichever comes first).

My friend never smiles. She tells me this is why she has absolutely no wrinkles. I believe her; her skin is flawless.

I have always been this way, which makes it difficult when I’m mad at my husband and he says something really funny because he knows I’ll crack a smile regardless if I’m speaking to him or not.

Image result for silent treatment funny

My secret to being so happy all the time?

I simply don’t take little things life throws me very seriously.

Don’t get me wrong. I have known tragedy and felt pain. But for the most part, I really do try and separate the things that I can control and either change them, improve them or move on from them. As for the things I cannot control, well those are the secret ingredients to true happiness – the ability to accept that as so and move on anyway- in spite of the obstacles.

It is a proven fact that when you smile, you release endorphins, which are responsible for making us feel happy and lower stress levels. The best part about smiling is that even if you are FAKING it, your brain doesn’t know you’re trying to pull a fast one, and it STILL releases these chemical stimulants.

Sure, you can drink a glass (or two) of wine and still feel that same stress release as smiling offers, but when you smile its also contagious, so you are inevitably spreading the joy.

Lesson Learned:

I’ll leave this one to Mr. Roarke:

“SMILES everyone smiles!”. (And drink your wine too- it does a body good!)

Where is Larry the Cable Guy when I need him?….

I find all this electoral talk to be fascinating. Not because the candidates are anything special this time around, they never are, and not because of the hot topics and campaign agendas, those don’t do it for me either.

But what I find to be the most captivating aspect about the 2016 election is that these candidates and every presidential candidate before them all think they are running for the most powerful job in the world.

But they have it all wrong.

The most powerful job in the world is not POTUS but rather, it’s – the cable guy.

No one has as much clout or power as the cable guy. And they are even more coveted when they are supposed to show up and then don’t. You just want them even more.

When your cable TV is out, nothing is more important than that window when you’re waiting for a technician to show.

I can go days with out shampoo or fresh groceries but being left without television and Internet…. that’s like being stranded in the Sahara desert without water.

I sat there waiting for my cable guy all day. Even though I was given a two-hour window I still was not able to go about enjoying my day because I had to be around to be able to fly back home within minutes before they move on to the next appointment and mark my ticket as closed…. which is exactly what happened.

Then, when the technician did not show up I still was unable to secure a new time slot because those apparently are more coveted than a rose from the Bachelor.

Now, as I sit in a hot spot somewhere near my neighbors backyard, I hope she does not catch me and think Im snooping (like she always does).

Image result for peeping in bushes funny

Lesson Learned:

Sometimes we put too much emphasis and weight on what we are told most important, like say the upcoming 2016 electoral candidates. But all it takes is something simple, like having to actually talk to your husband because the TV is out, to make us realize who are the true important people in or world….FB friends and Instagram!

Hope this gets to you! Have a great Monday!

Teach your children not the other way around….

I met a woman at the gym the other day who told me that for 30 years she would work out 8 hours a day – yes that’s technically a 40 hour work week – and did not eat at all.


Now, at age 66, although she still works out every day, she is finally at a healthy point in life. (Although she has no eyebrows, terrible skin, and a thinning hairline, but mentally she is balanced.)

I asked her what changed? How did she realize that working out in such and extreme manner – so excessively and obsessively was not going to get her the results she was trying to achieve?

Her answer was simple: “My son saved me.”

She went on to tell me that throughout her entire adolescence and young adulthood she would obsessively strive to attain the perfect body.

As a young child her father would tell her that her eyes should not dictate what her stomach needs. That most people eat with their eyes – meaning they fill their plates with food that appeals to them visually but in reality it’s their stomach that they should listen to and ignore the visual stimulation of delectable looking food. She, unfortunately, took this sentiment to the extreme and made a decision early on not to eat at all.

It reminded me of my own childhood when my father would say: “ Your eyes are bigger than your stomach” every time one of us would take more on our plate than we could finish eating.

I was lucky enough to learn that I did not have to “finish everything on my plate” the way they used to tell kids back in the good old days of the 1970’s. (Which was a huge relief given that my mother wasn’t exactly a good cook ….stay tuned for that blog titled:”why I’m a picky eater”)

But this woman’s’ experience growing up with the pressure to stay thin and keep her stomach concave molded her into the unhealthy mother she inevitably became.

It wasn’t until her son was old enough to realize that his mother needed help that he was able to intervene and offer the help and the encouragement to slow down, to eat, to nurture her.

In essence, their roles were reversed. The son took care of the mother.

Now, at 66, she is finally healthy and happy and leads a balanced life.

Lesson Learned:

The way we are raised, the influence our parents have on us make such an enormous impact on who we become as adults. Take control of how you teach your own children. You have the power to influence.

When your body tells you it is not worth it, do you stop?…..

People always ask me how I think about things to write about. My answer is always the same: I write about what provokes me to think.

Everyday occurrences trigger something that is either comical or satirical to me in some way and instead of talking about it (I hate gossip and try to avoid it as much as possible) I simply write about it.

When I’m writing about people anonymously –even though it’s for all the world to see- it seems less harmful than speaking about someone specifically. I truly believe I’m altruistic in that way. A heroine of some sorts. I speak for the people. (Ok, Ok, I got a little carried away there- but you get my drift- I enjoy making fun of life and everyone in it.)

Besides, there is just so much material out there.

My favorite ‘go to’ place for inspiration is Publix, but when in desperate need of something fresh, I peruse the aisles at Walmart.


Meanwhile at Walmart, cart driving heffers block the isle for a kiss. Did they know how funny they L@@K?

But the other night I was feeling lazy and still hadn’t thought about anything creative to write about. I had bloggers block.

I was watching Fox News and it was all about the new candidates for 2016.

It occurred to me that I should write about the big announcement that has been impending for months and months. First she was, then she wasn’t, but now it’s official…..

Gisele has announced that she is retiring from the runway!!!

No one saw that coming.

Yup, she announced that she had to retire from modeling because, as she said:

“Automatically, my body tells me if what I do is worth it, and it asked to stop.”

Wow. A model that listens to her body, now that’s rare.

I find it somewhat refreshing when I hear about a celebrity that is actually in tune with reality to know when she no longer needs to compete with those half her age. Giselle is one of the rare ones that I find to be naturally beautiful and even if she has had work done, it is too subtle for me to notice anything beyond her natural glow.

Sure, she was blessed with incredible genes (although I do feel a little sorry for her sister, half her size and twice her girth) but Giselle does not seem to fall into the trap of desperation to stay unnaturally young looking like so many models and actresses who opt for plastic surgery often do.

I say good for you, Giselle! We all know you will still be ranked among the wealthiest women from your endorsements and products but now you will have more time to focus on other projects you are passionate about. (Like preaching to new mothers everywhere how easy it is to lose the baby weight just by breast feeding.)

Lesson Learned:

We should al listen to our bodies. They are wise enough to know when they have had enough. It’s our brains that often push us to keep going, which is a good thing for the most part, but sometimes its ok to just accept that it will be worth it to stop.

Now for your viewing and listening pleasure- a favorite of mine: